These Phrases shared by My Father Which Helped Us during my time as a First-Time Dad

"In my view I was simply just surviving for twelve months."

Former Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey thought he would to manage the demands of fatherhood.

However the actual experience rapidly proved to be "completely different" to his expectations.

Severe health complications during the birth resulted in his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Suddenly he was forced into acting as her chief support while also looking after their baby boy Leo.

"I was doing every night time, every nappy change… every stroll. The role of mother and father," Ryan explained.

After eleven months he became exhausted. That was when a conversation with his own dad, on a park bench, that made him realise he needed help.

The direct statement "You are not in a good place. You need assistance. In what way can I help you?" paved the way for Ryan to express himself truthfully, ask for help and find a way back.

His story is far from unique, but infrequently talked about. While the public is now better used to discussing the pressure on mothers and about PND, less is said about the challenges fathers encounter.

'It's not weak to request support'

Ryan thinks his challenges are part of a larger reluctance to communicate amongst men, who still hold onto negative perceptions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the fortress that just takes the pounding and remains standing with each wave."

"It is not a sign of being weak to request help. I failed to do that soon enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher who studies mental health before and after childbirth, notes men frequently refuse to admit they're having a hard time.

They can believe they are "not a legitimate person to be seeking help" - particularly in preference to a mum and baby - but she highlights their mental well-being is vitally important to the household.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad gave him the opportunity to take a respite - taking a couple of days overseas, separate from the domestic setting, to gain perspective.

He understood he required a shift to pay attention to his and his partner's emotional states as well as the practical tasks of looking after a newborn.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd overlooked "what she longed for" -holding her hand and listening to her.

'Parenting yourself

That insight has changed how Ryan perceives parenthood.

He's now writing Leo regular notes about his feelings as a dad, which he wishes his son will look at as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will assist his son to better grasp the vocabulary of emotion and understand his parenting choices.

The concept of "parenting yourself" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen did not have stable male guidance. Even with having an "wonderful" connection with his dad, profound difficult experiences meant his father had difficulty managing and was "present intermittently" of his life, affecting their relationship.

Stephen says suppressing feelings caused him to make "bad actions" when in his youth to modify how he felt, seeking comfort in drink and drugs as a way out from the hurt.

"You gravitate to behaviours that are harmful," he explains. "They can briefly alter how you feel, but they will ultimately cause more harm."

Tips for Managing as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - if you're feeling under pressure, speak to a friend, your other half or a professional what you're going through. Doing so may to ease the pressure and make you feel more supported.
• Maintain your passions - continue with the things that allowed you to feel like you before the baby arrived. This might be going for a run, meeting up with mates or playing video games.
• Pay attention to the physical health - nutritious food, getting some exercise and if you can, getting some sleep, all are important in how your emotional health is doing.
• Meet other first-time fathers - listening to their stories, the messy ones, along with the positive moments, can help to validate how you're experiencing things.
• Remember that asking for help does not mean you've failed - looking after you is the most effective way you can look after your family.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen understandably found it hard to accept the loss, having been out of touch with him for many years.

As a dad now, Stephen's resolved not to "repeat the pattern" with his own son and instead provide the security and emotional guidance he lacked.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they practise "shaking it out" together - processing the feelings in a healthy way.

Both Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men due to the fact that they faced their pain, changed how they express themselves, and learned to control themselves for their kids.

"I am now more capable of… dealing with things and managing things," explains Stephen.

"I put that down in a note to Leo last week," Ryan shares. "I wrote, at times I think my purpose is to teach and advise you how to behave, but the truth is, it's a dialogue. I'm learning just as much as you are through this experience."